Habermaning

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6 views · Added 12d ago · 4 definitions

Making up fancy excuses for right-wing crimes like they're just a little sniffle, not a full-blown heart attack.

'Is it a crime?' when they clearly stole the election like a kid took the last cookie.

'They might have lied, but it's just a tiny whisper, not a scream.'

'He might have committed treason, but it's just a little sneaky thing.'

Boobs so flat they could be mistaken for a parking lot, and definitely not worth a second glance.

'Her chest is like a desert, not a beach.'

'She has more air than a balloon animal.'

'Her boobs are flatter than a pancake on a Monday.'

Lying so hard you'd think they're trying to win a lie-off, but you stay quiet because you're too scared to lose your spot in the group chat.

'I didn't say that, I just implied it... kind of.'

'They’re not lying, they’re just... not telling the whole truth.'

'It’s not a lie, it’s a suggestion, and a very soft one.'

Zooming in on a tiny detail during a big event, like focusing on a fly on a cake during a wedding.

'Why are we talking about the color of his tie when he just broke the law?'

'They’re not arguing about policy, they’re arguing about who has better hair.'

'Why is everyone talking about his shoes when he just admitted to cheating?'