haberdasher

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1
A guy who sells fancy hats and stuff but thinks he's royalty. He probably smells like old socks and regret.
My uncle’s a haberdasher. He sells hats, but he also sells my childhood nightmares.
That guy at the mall who won’t stop talking about his hat collection. It’s like he’s running for president.
My mom’s friend is a haberdasher. She sells ties and also my brother’s bad decisions.
2
A guy who sells tiny stuff like thread and pins. He probably also sells your patience.
My teacher said my dad was a haberdasher. That means he sells pins and also my homework.
That guy in the store who sells thread and also sells my sanity.
My brother’s friend is a haberdasher. He sells laces and also my life choices.
3
A guy who makes clothes and also probably makes your life complicated.
My neighbor’s a haberdasher. He makes fancy clothes and also my life problems.
That guy at the mall who sells suits and also sells my confidence.
My cousin’s a haberdasher. He sells clothes and also my bad hair days.
4
A woman who looks like she’s ready for a party, but also looks like she’s been through hell.
My aunt’s a haberdasher. She looks like she’s ready for a party, but also like she’s ready to fight.
That woman in the store who looks like she’s wearing a suit and also wearing my stress.
My friend’s a haberdasher. She looks like she’s going to a party, but also like she’s going to war.
5
A woman who doesn’t care about anything and probably hates your existence.
My neighbor’s a haberdasher. She doesn’t care about anything and probably hates me.
That woman at the store who looks like she doesn’t care about life.
My sister’s a haberdasher. She doesn’t care about anything and also doesn’t care about my life.
6
When you’re having sex and you spill your drink on your partner’s back because you’re too busy being awesome.
I had sex doggy-style and spilled my soda on my partner’s back. It was like a mini explosion.
My friend had sex doggy-style and spilled her coffee on her partner’s back. He looked like he was burned.
I had sex doggy-style and spilled my beer on my partner’s back. It was like a party on his back.
7
A bunch of nonsense that people believe just because they heard it once.
My teacher said that haberdasher is a bunch of nonsense. I believe it because I heard it once.
That guy at the store said haberdasher is nonsense. He probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
My mom said haberdasher is nonsense. I believe her because she’s always right.
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