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A person who takes forever to leave their house when you’re already waiting like a fool outside.

I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes. You’re not coming out until I yell at your mom.

He’s still in the bathroom. I swear he’s trying to make me late for work.

I showed up at 8:00 AM. He’s still eating breakfast at 8:15.

The kind of person who makes you wait like you’re their personal chauffeur and they’re the boss.

I’m not your personal taxi. You’re not coming out until I throw your phone out the window.

She’s still picking out her shoes. I’m gonna be late for my own life.

He’s still arguing with his dog. The dog is winning.

Someone who thinks their house is a trap and you’re the prisoner trying to escape.

I’m not a prisoner. I’m your friend. You’re not coming out until you’re ready.

He’s still arguing with his fridge. The fridge doesn’t care.

She’s still in the hallway. I think she’s hiding from her own life.

A person who takes so long to leave the house it feels like you’re waiting for the whole block to wake up.

I’m not waiting for the whole block. I’m waiting for you.

He’s still trying to convince his mom he’s not going to work.

She’s still in the bathroom. I think she’s using the whole house as a toilet.

The kind of person who thinks they’re the last one to leave the house, even if they’re the first one to show up.

I showed up first. You’re still arguing with your dog. I’m leaving with your dog.

He’s still picking out his socks. I’m gonna be late for my own life.

She’s still in the hallway. I think she’s arguing with the mailman.