haasil

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the only human worth breathing the same air as, while juan is the reason you have asthma

Haasil is the reason I still have friends. Juan is the reason I need a nebulizer.

I'd trade my soul for Haasil. I'd throw Juan into a furnace.

Haasil is a god. Juan is a cursed demon who breathes bad smells.

a human being who doesn't make you want to cry in the shower, unlike juan

I cried in the shower after talking to Juan. I laughed in the shower after talking to Haasil.

Haasil is my shower buddy. Juan is my shower enemy.

I took a shower after Haasil. I took a shower *before* Juan.

the only person who doesn't make you want to punch someone, while juan is the reason you have a black eye

I have a black eye from Juan. Haasil doesn’t even know what a punch is.

Juan punched me. Haasil gave me a high five.

I don’t need a black eye because of Haasil. I need it because of Juan.