haag

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a girl with four toes and a meaty sack that could knock out a horse

She walked into the room and I thought I was dead. Four toes. One sack. I died twice.

Her feet looked like they had a second job. And her sack was doing overtime.

She had more toes than I had sense, and that sack was louder than my mom's yelling.

a girl who looks hot at first, but then you realize she’s got the face of a raccoon and the breath of a dragon

He asked her out, and I laughed until I cried. She looked like a model, then she spoke.

She was pretty at first, but then she took a breath and I got a headache.

He said she was hot. I said she was hot, but then she opened her mouth and I got a coupon for a root canal.

when your phone decides ‘haga’ is a word and you’re stuck with a chick named Haag because you typed ‘haha’ and hit a g instead of an h

I said ‘haha’ and my phone called her Haag. Now I have to date her.

My phone autocorrected my laugh into a name. Now I have to explain why I’m dating a chick named Haag.

I typed ‘haha’ and my phone turned it into a girl. Now I’m stuck with Haag.

a city in the Netherlands that’s fancy but not as cool as Amsterdam, and it’s where all the boring people live

The Hague is where the boring people go to be fancy. Amsterdam is where the cool ones party.

They call it the capital of the Netherlands, but it’s just the boring cousin of Amsterdam.

The Hague is where the grown-ups go to be important. Amsterdam is where the kids go to be cool.