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You're so clueless it's like you were born in a sock and raised by a toaster.

I asked him where the bathroom was and he said, 'Is it near the cereal?'

She tried to explain the plot of the movie and I fell asleep mid-sentence.

He thinks 'flavor' is a type of pants.

You're so lost you need GPS to find your own shadow.

He got lost on the way to the store and ended up at the mall.

She thought the airport was a place for dogs.

He tried to find his way home and ended up in the neighbor's yard.

You're so thick-headed you think a punchline is just a really loud cough.

He thought the joke was 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' and answered, 'To get to the other side of the coffee shop.'

She laughed at the punchline because she thought it was a sneeze.

He tried to tell a joke and it came out as a yawn.

You're so brain-dead you could use a sock as a calculator.

He added 2 + 2 and got 5 because he was distracted by the sock on his foot.

She multiplied 3 by 4 and said it was 12 because that's what the sock told her.

He divided 10 by 2 and got 5 because he was counting the holes in the sock.

You're so confused you think a dictionary is just a place where words live.

He asked the dictionary why it was so quiet and it just stared back at him.

She tried to talk to the dictionary and it answered in rhymes.

He thought the dictionary was a pet and tried to feed it cereal.

You're so clueless you think a phone call is just a loud whisper.

He answered the phone and said, 'Hello? I can hear you, but I can't see you.'

She thought the phone call was a game show and tried to answer it with a guess.

He answered the phone and started singing because he thought it was a karaoke machine.