Gallontine's Day

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The day you cram a full gallon of cum into your girlfriend so hard she wishes she was dead

My girlfriend passed out after Gallontine's Day. I think she's still in heaven.

He shot a gallon of cum into her. She screamed like a banshee and called the cops.

I filled my girlfriend with cum so much she turned into a cum monster. She ate my face.

When you eat a whole gallon of ice cream on Valentine's Day because you’re fat and you don’t care

I ate a gallon of ice cream on Valentine’s Day. My pants exploded.

I devoured ice cream like it was my ex’s face.

I had a gallon of ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I turned into a human ice cream cone.

When you drink a gallon of beer on the day before Valentine’s because you’re drunk and you want to die

I drank a gallon of beer and passed out. My friends had to carry me to the hospital.

I drank a whole gallon of beer and started talking to the ceiling. The ceiling didn’t respond.

I downed a gallon of beer and threw up on my girlfriend. She called me a drunk idiot.