Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

It’s tight enough to choke a chicken

My pants are so snug I can feel my heartbeat in my crotch.

I tried to sit down and my jeans yelled at me.

My mom says I look like a sausage in a trench coat.

2

It’s not loose, it’s a prison for your crotch

My pants are so tight I feel like I'm being interrogated by my thighs.

I walked into a wall because my jeans were too busy having a conversation with my butt.

I tried to flex and my pants didn't flex back.

3

It’s so not loose it’s practically a tattoo on your legs

My pants are permanently attached to my legs like a bad relationship.

I wore them for three days and now they know my secrets.

I took them off and my legs were like, 'What was that?'

4

It’s the opposite of loose, it’s the crotch whisperer

My pants are so tight they whisper my thoughts to my thighs.

I feel like my crotch has a job interview every time I walk.

My pants are giving me a standing ovation every time I sit down.

5

It’s so not loose it’s trying to become your second skin

My pants are like a clingy boyfriend who won’t let go.

I wore them to sleep and now they’re in my dreams.

They’re so close I could start a band with my legs.

6

It’s not loose, it’s a full-time job for your crotch

My pants are working overtime and I’m the boss.

I feel like I’m paying taxes with my legs every time I move.

My crotch has a 401(k) and a PTO.