Galad

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The Gamer. A human who lives in a world of video games and snacks. They can’t tell the difference between a controller and a pizza.

'I spent 4 hours playing this game, I didn’t even notice my mom yelling at me.'

'I ate three pizzas and still lost to my brother.'

'I don’t know why I’m still playing this game, it’s been 3 years.'

The last elf king. He got his ass kicked in Mordor by some giant evil guy. He probably died with a f***ing sword in his face.

'He fought the biggest evil guy ever and still lost.'

'He died like a f***ing hero, but it was still f***ing stupid.'

'He was the king of the elves and still got killed by a giant f***ing guy.'

The last elf king. He died in a f***ing war. His f***ing successor was Elrond, but he f***ing left and never came back.

'He died in a war, and the guy who was supposed to take over ran off to somewhere else.'

'He was the king and didn’t even bother to take over.'

'He left the throne like it was f***ing nothing.'

A f***ing greasy person. Like a human made of lard and f***ing fries. Or a Belgian who eats too much.

'That guy is a f***ing greasy monster.'

'I saw a Belgian in the street and it was like a f***ing greasy burger.'

'He ate a whole gallon of lard and still kept going.'