Galactic Anal Rape

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Galactic anal rape is when someone gets the worst kind of butt-blasting and feels like their soul was taken by a space monster.

My ex broke up with me and then dated my best friend. That was a full-blown galactic anal rape.

I got fired and my dog died. That was like getting a double anal rape from the universe.

My mom told me I was too fat to go to the prom. That was a cosmic anal rape.

Galactic anal rape is when you're so messed up you think the universe is laughing at you while it shoves a spaceship up your backside.

My math test was so hard I felt like the universe was doing a galactic anal rape on my brain.

I got stuck in an elevator with my crush and my crush didn't like me. That was a galactic anal rape.

My dad told me I had to eat all the veggies on my plate. That was a full-blown anal rape from Planet Veggies.

Galactic anal rape is when you're so humiliated you swear you saw your ancestors crying in the dark.

I failed my science project and my teacher made me wear a sign that said 'I am dumb'. That was a galactic anal rape.

My pet goldfish died and I had to explain it to my baby sister. That was a full-blown anal rape from the fish kingdom.

My friend ate my lunch and then made fun of me. That was a galactic anal rape from the lunch table.