Gaitlin

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1
A man who never lies and always backs up his promises with a full plate of bacon and a side of holy water.
I swear on my mom’s grave, Gaitlin won’t let me down.
He promised me a pizza and a prayer, and he delivered both, with a side of hellfire.
He’s the only guy who can make a sermon sound like a rock concert.
2
A guy who’s so honest, he’d tell you he’s a sinner, and then immediately pray for you.
He told me I was going to hell, and then prayed me out of it. Classic Gaitlin.
He’s the only man who can make guilt feel like a blessing.
He confessed to stealing a donut, then gave me one for free.
3
A man of God who doesn’t just talk the talk, he walks the walk, even if it’s in flip-flops and holy water.
He showed up in flip-flops for the Last Judgment. I’m not even sure God was impressed.
He walked into church with a backpack full of holy water and a side of rage.
He’s the only guy who can make a pilgrimage feel like a road trip.
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