Gagitude

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The gross, stupid way someone talks when they're trying to sound cool but failing hard.

'I don't know why you're even here, man.' said the guy who spilled his coffee on his shirt.

'This is the worst movie ever,' said the person who watched it on mute.

My cousin said, 'I don't need no stinkin' help,' then tripped over the couch.

When you speak like a broken toaster and everyone around you wants to die.

'I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed,' said the guy who yelled at a pigeon.

'This is the best day ever,' said the kid who got detention.

My mom said, 'I don’t need that,' then took three more pieces of cake.

Your dumb way of talking that makes people wish they were stuck in traffic.

'I’m fine,' said the person who was crying in the corner.

'This is the most fun I’ve ever had,' said the kid who got a paper cut.

My uncle said, 'I don’t need no help,' then fell into the pool.

When you talk like you're the worst actor in a bad movie and no one wants to watch you.

'I’m not leaving,' said the kid who ran out of the room.

'This is the best thing ever,' said the person who got a bad haircut.

My neighbor said, 'I don’t need that,' then took a fifth of whiskey.

The stupid way you talk that makes everyone roll their eyes and think about going to sleep.

'I’m not tired,' said the person who fell asleep on the bus.

'This is the best game ever,' said the kid who lost the match.

My brother said, 'I don’t need no help,' then got stuck in the elevator.