Gaggin' on the D

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A day so bad it feels like your brain was dipped in poop and set on fire.

My math test was 100% wrong and my mom yelled at me for eating my sister's homework.

I tripped into a puddle and got detention for being wet.

My dog ate my lunch and then cried in my face.

A hard boner in your throat that’s trying to murder you.

My dad walked in on my brother and my mom at the same time.

I tried to drink a whole soda and it came back up.

My friend bit me and then laughed like a hyena.