Gafgarion

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Gafgarion is a smelly mercenary who works for a bunch of sneaky jerks. He’s got two swords and a bad attitude.

Gafgarion showed up like a stinkin' bad smell. He didn’t even bother to hide his plot to kill the princess. #MercenaryMood

He came to the monastery like a drunk man with a sword. He didn’t know what hit him. #FinalFantasyRant

Gafgarion was so ugly, even the knights wanted him dead. #HateTheMercenary

Gafgarion took a job to kill the princess. He didn’t care who got in the way.

He tried to kill the princess like she was a lousy side dish. #PrincessKill

He walked into the monastery like he owned the place. #TooConfident

He had no idea what he was doing. He just wanted the money. #MercenaryLife

Gafgarion was a lousy fighter. He couldn’t even beat a guy with one sword.

He fought like a man with a broken sword and a broken brain. #FellKnightFail

He lost the battle and ran like a chicken with no head. #MercenaryRetreat

He was so weak, even a kid could beat him. #LousyMercenary

Gafgarion had a plan. He was gonna kill the princess and take the stone.

He had a plan like a bad teacher with no idea what to do. #MercenaryPlan

He tried to kill the princess and take the stone. It didn’t work. #PlanFail

He had a trap, but it was as bad as his sword skills. #MercenaryTrap

Gafgarion was a sneaky jerk who tried to backstab everyone.

He was like a sneaky thief with a sword and a bad attitude. #MercenaryJerk

He tried to backstab everyone like they were his enemies. #SneakyMercenary

He had no loyalty. He just wanted the money. #MercenaryLife

Gafgarion was a lousy fighter who lost to a guy with one sword.

He was so lousy, even a kid could beat him. #MercenaryLoser

He fought like a man with a broken sword and no brains. #MercenaryFail

He ran away like a chicken with no head. #MercenaryRetreat