Gaerid

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1
A Gaerid is a guy who shows up like a firework and then disappears. He’s loud, ridiculous, and makes everyone laugh until they’re crying. He might not be your real dad, but he’s the one who took your mom’s side and had the guts to do it.
My dad’s a Gaerid. He showed up at my birthday and brought a goat. The goat ate my cake.
At the bar, Gaerid started a fight over who had the bigger meatballs. It ended with someone throwing a punch and a pizza.
Gaerid showed up at my mom’s funeral and told a joke so bad it made the priest laugh.
2
A Gaerid is the kind of guy who shows up once and then never again. He’s got a laugh that could shake the house and a mouth full of insults. He might not be your real dad, but he’s the one who said he’d be there for you and then showed up with a truckload of bad decisions.
Gaerid showed up at my graduation and yelled, 'I’m proud of you, but I’m also disappointed in your life choices.'
He walked into the restaurant and told the waiter he wanted a steak, a salad, and a side of sarcasm.
Gaerid showed up at my wedding and said, 'I’m here because your mom paid me.'
3
A Gaerid is a guy who shows up like a hurricane. He laughs loud, talks even louder, and then leaves you with no idea what just happened. He might not be your real dad, but he’s the one who stuck around when it got messy and took the blame for everything.
Gaerid showed up at my job interview and asked me if I had a twin brother. He said, 'He’s a total disaster.'
He walked into the room and told the whole class my nickname was 'The Pigeon.'
Gaerid came to my concert and started a fight with the security guard over the volume of my song.
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