Gaddied

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Gaddied is when a fake boss or mentor gives you just enough info to screw up a task and then swoops in to save your ass and look like a rockstar.

My boss told me to 'just do the report' and then laughed when I messed it up and he fixed it.

My mentor said, 'This is easy,' and then I failed and he took the blame.

He said, 'You got this,' and I didn't, and he fixed it and I looked like a fool.

Gaddied is when a rich jerk rips prices up so high they make your wallet cry and the whole world gets messed up.

The price of bread doubled and I screamed into my cereal.

My rent went up and I threw my keys at the landlord.

A loaf of bread cost more than my weekly paycheck.

Gaddied are like Viking gods who moved to Scotland and made everyone else look like ugly, brainless humans.

They fought dragons and I got a C on my math test.

They looked like gods and I looked like I needed a shower.

They had brains and I had a headache.

Gaddied is a name that sounds like it came from a drunk elf who hated vowels and wanted to confuse everyone.

My cousin’s name is Gaddied and I still don’t know how to spell it.

My teacher said it and I looked at her like she was crazy.

I tried to say it and it sounded like a cat got stuck in a blender.

Gaddied is a writer who thinks they’re the next Shakespeare and is probably just high on coffee and pride.

He wrote a 500-page book and called it 'the greatest story ever told.'

She said she could beat Tolkien and then I saw her try to write a paragraph.

He claimed he was the next Hemingway, and then he wrote 'The dog ran fast.'

Gaddied is when you catch something and it feels like a tiny monster is laughing in your ear.

I caught a fish and it looked at me like it had a secret.

I caught a bug and it ran away like it was trying to escape a prison.

I caught my mom’s secret and she looked like she wanted to kill me.

Gaddied is when you drink like a maniac with your hat tilted to the left and only one eye open like you’re trying to outsmart a dragon.

I drank six beers, tilted my hat, and stared at the wall like it was my enemy.

He drank a whole bottle of whiskey and only used one eye.

I tilted my hat, opened one eye, and said, 'This is how legends are made.'