Gabester

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A Gabester is a wild, dirty person who would rather break their own bones than let you have the last slice of pizza.

I saw him punch a wall in the middle of the street just because he didn’t like the way the moon looked.

He has a YouTube channel where he plays Minecraft while screaming at his dog.

He once tried to marry his pet goldfish.

Gabester is when you’re so wasted you don’t know if you’re a god or a garbage can and you’re probably both.

He drank 12 beers and started talking to the ceiling like it was his ex.

She smoked so much weed she turned into a sentient couch.

He tried to eat a whole cake and then cried because it was too sweet.

Gabester is when you’re so wasted you think you’re invincible and then you try to prove it by fighting a vending machine.

He got so wasted he tried to propose to his barista and then passed out on the floor.

She got so high she started drawing on the walls with ketchup.

He tried to dance with a flamingo and ended up in the hospital.