Gabe's Cookies

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Cookies so bad they should be exiled from the cookie realm. They were baked by a greasy monster on a rusted stove under a bridge.

I ate one and now I’m haunted by the smell of regret.

My dog tried to eat them and now he’s a ghost.

They taste like old socks and sadness.

These cookies are like a slap in the face of all things sweet. Baked by someone who hasn’t seen sunlight in 20 years.

I tried to eat one and my tongue is now a prisoner.

My sister threw them out and now she’s mad at me.

They’re so bad they make my math homework look good.

The cookies are so gross they could make a saint cry. Made by a greasy beast in a cave of sadness and smoke.

I ate one and now my brain is on vacation.

They’re like a cursed breakfast cereal for adults.

I think my dog turned on me because of them.