g-mama

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A tiny version of Lauren who acts like she’s the boss of the whole damn family.

G-mama said I could eat cake for breakfast. I did. And I didn’t stop until I was full.

She said she’d let me play video games if I cleaned my room. I cleaned it. Then I played for four hours.

She told me I could skip school if I promised to do my homework. I skipped. I didn’t do my homework. I got a D.

A grandma who acts like she’s still young enough to be your mom’s best friend.

G-mama said I could eat pizza for dinner. I ate it. I got food poisoning. She laughed.

She said she’d let me wear my hat to school if I promised to be good. I wore it. I was bad. I got in trouble.

She let me take her phone to text my friends. I texted my crush. She found out. She yelled.

In Hindi and Punjabi, it’s like that uncle who shows up at family dinners and makes everyone uncomfortable.

Uncle came to dinner. He told jokes. No one laughed. He told more jokes. Everyone left early.

He showed up at the wedding. He told stories. He told them all. No one wanted to hear more.

He showed up at my birthday party. He told a joke. It was bad. I cried.

A girl who’s pregnant and looks like a glow stick. Also likes to drink soy milk and pretend it’s fancy.

She showed up at the party glowing like a neon light. She drank soy milk like it was champagne.

She walked in with a glow that could light up a room. She sipped soy milk like it was the best thing ever.

She came to the store glowing. She bought soy milk. I asked why. She said it was fancy.

A girl who thinks she’s cool, but Mama G says no because she’s a dentist and her brother supposedly sucked a dick.

She tried to join the club. Mama G said no. Her brother supposedly sucked a dick.

She came to the party. Mama G said no. Her brother supposedly sucked a dick.

She asked for permission to date my friend. Mama G said no. Her brother supposedly sucked a dick.