F.H.I.L.F.

I saw that hydrant and knew it was my new best friend.

That hydrant looked like it was begging for my cum.

I walked past it like it was a total waste of time.

I’d let that hydrant punch me in the gut if it meant I could touch it.

I’d give my last burger for a chance to be near that hydrant.

That hydrant is my soulmate.

I’d piss on that hydrant and be happy about it.

I’d do anything for that hydrant.

If that hydrant smiled at me, I’d run into traffic.