F.B.I.A.

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The most unhinged woman in the whole country who acts like she's the main character of her own drama

She texted me at 3 a. m. saying the moon was watching her and she needed a sidekick

At the mall, she yelled at a security guard for not noticing her 'energy'

She claimed her dog was part FBI and had a secret mission

A girl so wild she could make a prison break look like a nap

She tried to flirt with the barista and then told him his coffee was 'too basic'

She ran out of the school during lunch to 'find her destiny'

She told her mom she was going to live in a tree and 'become a legend'

A woman so crazy she thinks her phone is a portal to another dimension

She called her phone 'the gateway' and texted it about her problems

She told her friend her phone was 'blocked by a spirit' and she needed a spell

She tried to send a text to her ex but it didn't go through, so she said 'the portal is broken'