Fadednese

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The mess of words you use when you're too wasted to think straight

I’m gonna eat this whole pizza and then I’m gonna pass out in the couch like a dead man.

Why is the sky green? Is this a dream or is this a nightmare? Also, why is my ex here?

I just yelled at my mom for no reason. I think I’m gonna cry. Or maybe I’m gonna eat my feelings.

When your brain is so fried from alcohol or drugs it just spits out nonsense

I’m a king. My crown is a soda can. My throne is a couch. My enemies are my siblings.

The moon is made of cheese. I’ve eaten it. I’m not lying. I’m just high.

I told my dog I was going to be a rockstar. He just stared at me like I was a bad choice in life.

The speech you use when you're too wasted to talk normally and just yell at everything

Why is the TV on? I didn’t ask for this. Also, my pants are on fire. Or are they just really hot?

I just screamed at my boss. He didn’t even know I was there. I think I’m a ghost now.

I said goodbye to my best friend. Then I said hello to my ex. Then I said why is the fridge open?

When your words are so slurred and stupid it sounds like you're talking to a confused toddler

I’m a dragon. I breathe fire. My fire is pizza. I eat pizza. I’m a pizza dragon.

I just fell off a cliff. Or did I just fall off a couch? I can’t remember. Also, my dog is now a wizard.

I think I’m a rockstar. I have no proof. But I have a lot of candy.

The kind of talking you do when you're too wasted to make sense and just make everything worse

I told my mom I was going to be a billionaire. She said I was a delusional kid. I said she was a delusional mom.

I just ate my whole dinner and then I cried. Then I laughed. Then I threw up. Then I took a nap.

I think I'm the president. Or maybe I'm a donut. Either way, I'm important.