Factory Sealed

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

A fancy way of saying you or someone else has never been touched by anything except maybe a box.

My cousin said he was factory sealed until he opened a gift from his aunt.

She called her crush factory sealed because he still had his first tooth.

My brother said he got factory sealed because he never left his mom's house.

When you're so untouched that you still smell like the inside of a warehouse.

My friend said she was factory sealed because she never kissed anyone.

He bragged about being factory sealed because he still had his baby hair.

My mom said my brother was factory sealed because he never left the house.

A way of saying you or someone else has never been popped like a balloon.

She said she was factory sealed because she didn't even know how to open a can.

He said he was factory sealed because he didn't know what a zipper was.

My brother called his friend factory sealed because he still wore socks with sandals.

When you're so untouched that you still think a phone call is a relationship.

My sister said she was factory sealed because she never had a crush.

He called himself factory sealed because he didn't know what a dating app was.

My friend said her crush was factory sealed because he still had his baby face.

A way of saying you or someone else has never been touched by anything except maybe a box and a lot of shame.

She said she was factory sealed because she didn't know how to open a box.

He called his friend factory sealed because he still had his first tooth.

My brother said he was factory sealed because he still wore pajamas to school.

When you're so untouched that you think a hug is a romantic gesture.

My friend said she was factory sealed because she never had a date.

He said he was factory sealed because he didn't know what a kiss was.

My brother called his friend factory sealed because he still had his baby hair.