factoism

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when Mr. Facto takes a poop and calls it a scientific discovery

Mr. Facto said, 'This is the new theory of gravity!' while sitting on the toilet.

He posted a photo of his poop on Instagram with the caption, 'Factoism in action.'

During lunch, he claimed the sandwich was 'factoized' and therefore perfect.

when Mr. Facto talks so much it feels like he’s trying to fill your brain with facts and nonsense

He gave a 10-minute speech about why the sky is blue, and it was just a guess.

He turned a 30-second question into a 5-minute rant about factoids and fiction.

He told the class that 2 + 2 = 5 because 'he said so, and that’s factoism.'

when Mr. Facto makes up words just to sound smarter and no one knows what they mean

He said, 'This is a factoidic phenomenon,' and no one asked what that meant.

He used the word 'factoidize' in a sentence and nobody questioned it.

He invented 'factoized math' and called it a new era of learning.

when Mr. Facto refuses to admit he's wrong, even when it's obvious

He said the moon was made of cheese, and he wouldn't stop even after we all laughed.

He argued for 20 minutes that 1 + 1 = 3, and he wouldn't back down.

He kept saying 'factoism is real' even though it was just a made-up term.

when Mr. Facto turns everything into a fact and calls it 'factoism'

He turned the lunch menu into a factoid chart and called it 'factoized lunch.'

He said the recess bell was a 'factoized time signal.'

He turned the school into a 'factoized universe' and called it a new era.