Factedness

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The crazy power of having so many facts that people think you’re a fact monster and they start crying because they can’t handle the truth.

My cousin got facted so hard he started dating a calculator.

My teacher said I was facting her so much she got a PhD in embarrassment.

My dog ran away because he couldn’t take the facts anymore.

When you’re so full of facts that people start to believe you’re a fact wizard and they offer you their firstborn in exchange for your knowledge.

My mom offered me her cat in exchange for my facts about how cats are actually aliens.

My neighbor asked me to fact him before his job interview.

My friend’s crush turned into a fact vampire and now he’s obsessed with me.

The ability to drop so many facts that people get knocked out and start questioning everything they ever knew.

My brother got facted so hard he started doubting the moon landing.

My friend’s mom passed out after I told her the real reason why chickens cross roads.

My dad started crying because I explained how the internet works in 10 seconds.

When you’re so facty that people think you’re a fact god and they start praying to you for more facts.

My little sister started praying to me for facts before bedtime.

My friend’s dad started making me a shrine in the kitchen.

My neighbor started giving me offerings of pizza in exchange for facts.

The power of being so facty that people start to believe you’re a fact robot and they try to wire you into the internet.

My friend tried to plug me into a wall socket to get more facts.

My teacher connected me to the school’s mainframe and I spewed out 1000 facts.

My cousin tried to hack me to get my fact secrets.