Fact That.

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When you back up your dumbass opinion with real proof so people can’t ignore you.

“I’m right because I looked it up.”, 2nd grade kid who’s never wrong

“I got a fact that the moon is made of cheese.”, 3rd grade kid who eats cheese for breakfast

“I have a fact that proves your mom is a witch.”, 5th grade kid who’s clearly in cahoots with the devil

When you only believe what you want to believe, and you ignore everything else because it’s too much work to think.

“I only believe in facts that make me feel good.”, 4th grade kid who’s also a fake philosopher

“I ignore all the facts that don’t fit.”, 3rd grade kid who’s really just tired

“I believe in facts that don’t hurt me.”, 5th grade kid who’s been in a fight with the truth

A New York thing where you say it to be cool, or to sound like you know what’s going on.

“I’m fact thating this whole situation.”, 6th grade kid who thinks they’re in a movie

“Fact that, I’m not wrong.”, 5th grade kid who’s been wrong all week

“Fact that, I’ve got a plan.”, 4th grade kid who’s about to fail

When you’re 100% right and no one can argue with you.

“I’m right, so shut up.”, 6th grade kid who’s never wrong

“I said it, and it’s true.”, 5th grade kid who’s actually right

“I know what I’m talking about.”, 4th grade kid who’s definitely lying

When you’re so fat, you’re angry, and you’re acting out like you’re in a movie.

“I’m Fat, Angry, and Acting like I’m in a movie.”, Zach Galifianakis

“I’m F. A. A. and I’m not even trying.”, 6th grade kid who’s been eating too much

“I’m F. A. A. and I’m mad at the world.”, 5th grade kid who’s been wrong all week

When you only use part of the truth to make it look like you’re right, even though the whole truth is a mess.

“I’m right because I picked the part that fits.”, 6th grade kid who’s a master of lies

“I only used half the facts.”, 5th grade kid who’s been cheating on tests

“I picked the best part of the truth.”, 4th grade kid who’s definitely lying

A magical word that turns your dumbass statement into a fact, just because you screamed it at the top of your lungs.

“FACT THAT I’M RIGHT!”, 6th grade kid who’s never wrong

“FACT THAT I’M COOL!”, 5th grade kid who’s actually not

“FACT THAT I’M WINNING!”, 4th grade kid who’s still losing