fact guaranteed

Fresh
#loud promises#confidence overflow#pizza threats

0 views · Added 4d ago · 5 definitions

1
A 'fact guaranteed' is when someone yells something so loud and confident it feels like it's gonna punch you in the face. It’s like a promise that’s been drunk and came out with a tattoo.
'You're gonna fail this test!' he said, like it was already written on the back of my head.
'I’m getting a 100% on this project,' she said, like she had a magic wand and a PhD.
'You’re gonna eat that whole pizza,' my brother said, like he had a contract with the cheese.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
2
A 'fact guaranteed' is when someone says something so surely it sounds like it’s already happened. Like they’ve already won, you’ve already lost, and there’s no coming back.
'You're gonna get a D,' he said, like he already handed me the report card.
'I’m gonna be the best at this game,' she said, like she’d already beaten everyone else.
'You’re gonna eat all that cake,' my mom said, like she had a cake contract with my stomach.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
3
A 'fact guaranteed' is like a swear-filled guarantee that someone is 100% sure about something, even if they’re totally full of hot air.
'You’re gonna fail this class,' he said, like he had a degree in failure.
'I’m gonna win this game,' she said, like she had a trophy in her pocket.
'You’re gonna eat that whole cake,' my dad said, like he had a dessert contract with my mouth.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
4
A 'fact guaranteed' is when someone says something with such force it sounds like it's gonna become law. It's like they've already signed the paperwork and you're just the witness.
'You're gonna get a zero on this test,' he said, like the teacher was already grading it.
'I’m gonna be the best in the class,' she said, like she had a golden medal waiting.
'You’re gonna eat that whole pizza,' my brother said, like he had a pizza contract with my mouth.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
5
A 'fact guaranteed' is when someone says something with such certainty that it feels like it’s already in your bones. Like you've already been beaten, you've already lost, and there's no escape.
'You’re gonna fail this test,' he said, like it was already on your report card.
'I’m gonna win this game,' she said, like she already had the trophy in her hand.
'You’re gonna eat that whole cake,' my mom said, like she had a dessert contract with my mouth.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
xs