Facial Pruning

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

When you go on Facebook and rip out your old posts like they're trash, just so you look cool instead of a mess.

I deleted my post about crying in the grocery store. Who needs that?

I edited my status from 'I'm hungover' to 'I'm having a spiritual awakening.'

I hid my photo of my cat wearing my hat. That was a disaster.

Making your Facebook look perfect by deleting all the bad stuff, like your life is a highlight reel and not a dumpster fire.

I erased my 3 a. m. tweet about my ex. It was too cringey.

I took down my photo of my face after I ate a whole pizza.

I changed my bio from 'I live in chaos' to 'I live in luxury.'

When you go on Facebook and delete everything that makes you look like a hot mess, just so you can pretend you're perfect.

I deleted my post about my failed relationship. It was too awkward.

I erased my photo of me wearing pajamas at 11 a. m.

I changed my status from 'I'm tired' to 'I'm on a power nap.'

Trying to make your Facebook look like your life is amazing, even though it's just a bunch of lies and deleted posts.

I deleted my post about my cat peeing on the carpet. That was a low point.

I changed my bio from 'I'm a mess' to 'I'm a magician.'

I erased my 2 a. m. message to my mom about my life being a disaster.

When you delete, edit, or hide all your Facebook stuff so you don't look like a total disaster.

I deleted my post about my failed baking attempt. That was a real bloopers moment.

I changed my status from 'I'm dying' to 'I'm taking a break.'

I hid my photo of me in a pool at 3 p. m. That was a nightmare.