Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you stare at Facebook posts like they're porn and you're dying of loneliness.

I checked my Facebook 17 times last night. I'm not sad. I'm just desperate.

She posted a photo of her dog and I had a boner.

He likes my post. He must be my soulmate. Or my uncle.

2

Looking at Facebook like it's a porn site and you're the only one who's single and ugly.

I scrolled through Facebook and cried. My ex is happy. I'm not. I'm also ugly.

He commented on my post. He's probably my cousin. Or my dad.

I saw a photo of my old crush. I got a boner. Then I got sad.

3

When you're so lonely you look at Facebook like it's a porn movie and you're the main character.

I looked at Facebook for an hour. I got a boner. Then I cried.

She posted a photo of her dog and I got a boner. Then I got sad.

He liked my post. He must be my soulmate. Or my brother.

4

When you're too fat, sad, and lonely to do anything but look at Facebook for sexual excitement.

I checked my Facebook and cried. My ex is happy. I'm not. I'm also fat.

He commented on my post. He's probably my cousin. Or my dad.

She posted a photo of her dog and I got a boner. Then I cried.

5

When you look at Facebook posts like they're porn and you're the only one who's single and ugly.

I checked my Facebook and got a boner. Then I cried.

He liked my post. He's probably my soulmate. Or my uncle.

She posted a photo of her dog and I got a boner. Then I got sad.

6

When you're so sad and lonely you stare at Facebook like it's a porn movie and you're the main character.

I scrolled through Facebook and cried. My ex is happy. I'm not. I'm also lonely.

He commented on my post. He's probably my cousin. Or my dad.

She posted a photo of her dog and I got a boner. Then I cried.