Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you jerk off to your friends' Facebook photos because they look hot and you're too lazy to actually date them.

I saw my crush's vacation pics and had to stop my mom from asking why I was crying in the hallway.

My friend's cat was on Facebook and I got a hard-on.

I looked at my ex's profile and forgot to breathe for 10 minutes.

2

When you're so obsessed with yourself that you stalk your own Facebook like it's a detective show and you're the main character.

I checked my own profile 20 times before I remembered I was supposed to be alive.

I liked my own post 7 times and it felt like I was winning the lottery.

I stared at my own photo for so long, my dog started barking at me.

3

When you get off by looking at Facebook photos of people you know or strangers, and you're too cheap to buy a real life.

I saw my teacher's vacation pics and got a boner in class.

My neighbor's kid posted a selfie and I had to hide my phone under my shirt.

I got off to a guy from my gym and now I look at him like he owes me money.

4

When you like your own stuff on Facebook just so you feel important, like you're the king of the internet and everyone else is just peasants.

I liked my own post and it felt like I was winning the whole game.

I liked my own comment and I felt like a rockstar.

I liked my own photo and I got a little too excited.

5

When you rub your face and feel good about it, like it's the most important thing in life and your face is the best thing ever.

I shaved and felt like I was born again.

I rubbed my face and it felt like I had a million dollars.

I looked in the mirror and my face was the best thing I ever saw.

6

When you get off by looking at pictures on Facebook, and you're too good for real life.

I looked at my crush's picture and got a boner in the bathroom.

I saw my ex's face and I forgot how to breathe.

I got off to a random guy's photo and now I'm obsessed.

7

When you like your own stuff on Facebook just because you think you're important and you want people to know it.

I liked my own post and I felt like a celebrity.

I liked my own comment and I felt like I was famous.

I liked my own photo and it was like I was winning.