Facesterbator

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 4 definitions

When you jerk off to someone's Facebook pics and videos like they're your new best friend and you're getting a free pizza.

I saw her vacation video and my pants were on fire.

He posted a selfie and I had to hide my phone under the couch.

She changed her profile pic and I had a heart attack.

Looking at Facebook photos and videos until you're too tired to move and your brain is melting.

I watched her live stream and now I can't walk.

He posted a photo of his dog and I got a boner.

She uploaded a video and I cried like a baby.

When you're so addicted to someone's Facebook that you forget to eat and your mom calls the police.

I saw her story and my phone became my new best friend.

He posted a video and I forgot to do my homework.

She changed her background and I had a panic attack.

When you stare at someone's Facebook like it's a buffet and you're starving for attention.

I saw her photo and my heart skipped a beat.

He posted a video and I had to take a break from life.

She changed her bio and I had to text her.