facesquatted

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A guy who sits on his girl's face like a smelly old man at a buffet, all while she tries to keep her dignity and her lunch.

He facesquatted me in the middle of a movie. I didn't even get to finish the popcorn.

My man came over and just dropped on my face like a bag of bricks. It was brutal.

She facesquatted me in the living room while my mom was on the phone. I died a little.

When someone grabs the best Facebook name like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party.

My ex took my dream name. Now I’m stuck with ‘CoolDude78’ forever.

He snatched up ‘KingOfTheBurger’ before I could even blink. I’m still mad.

She facesquatting my name on Facebook. I’m not even close to being cool.

When your friends start chatting on your wall like you're not even there, especially when you're too busy being a parent or working 80 hours a week.

My friends chatted on my wall at 10pm. I was on my phone trying to sleep. It was annoying.

They facesquatting me on Facebook after I missed a post. I was busy at work.

At 9pm, my friends started talking on my wall like I was on vacation. I was mad.