Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

So wasted you look like a rejected alien from a bad sci-fi movie.

I saw him at the bar. He was talking to the ceiling and crying about his ex's cat.

She tried to text me. It was just emojis and one word: 'why'.

He walked into the store wearing a hat backwards and a sock on his head.

2

You’re so wasted you could knock out a horse and still not feel it.

He tried to dance. It was more like a seizure with a soundtrack.

She ordered pizza for three people and ate the whole thing by herself.

He tried to flirt with the barista. She gave him a look that could melt steel.

3

You're so drunk you could be the reason the moon is out of orbit.

He tried to sing. It sounded like a cat being tortured.

She tried to text her mom. It was just 'help' and a series of emojis that screamed 'I am dying'.

He fell off a chair and tried to blame the floor.

4

You're so wasted you could make a dog cry and still not feel guilty about it.

He tried to do a magic trick. It involved a sock and a lot of confusion.

She tried to count to ten. It took her thirty minutes and a nap.

He tried to talk to his boss. It ended with him wearing a hat made of napkins.

5

You’re so drunk you could beat up a superhero and still not remember it the next day.

He tried to fight the waiter. It was more like a slow motion dance-off.

She tried to explain her life. It took ten minutes and a lot of swearing.

He tried to walk home. He ended up on the sidewalk with a hat on his head.

6

You're so wasted you could make a robot question its life choices.

He tried to rap. It was more like a scream with a beat.

She tried to text her friend. It was just 'u?' and a series of facepalms.

He tried to do a handstand. It ended with him on the floor and a very confused sock.