Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When someone yells at their wall so much it sounds like a broken record and makes your brain want to leave your body.

This post is longer than my ex's excuses.

I could write a novel about how bad my day was.

If this was a movie, I'd have fallen asleep in the first scene.

2

A blunt that gets smoked so close to your face it feels like the blunt is trying to kiss you and your brain is trying to escape.

That blunt was like a face hug from a smoke monster.

I felt like I was going to explode or go insane.

I can't breathe, I can't think, I just want to die.

3

When someone is too lazy to share the blunt and just inhales it like it's the last meal on Earth.

That guy took the whole blunt and left me with nothing.

He smoked it like it was a treasure map.

I got zero hits and a lot of regret.

4

A fancy way of saying someone just clocked you with a fist like you owed them money.

That punch felt like I got hit by a truck.

He didn't just punch me, he insulted me with his fist.

I got a face full of man and a bruise for my trouble.

5

The only place where your ex still likes you and your brain still works.

Facebook is where I post my life and my ex sees it.

I use Facebook to forget my problems.

Facebook is my second home and my ex is my landlord.

6

Someone who types like they're trying to type with their fingers and their brain is on strike.

He typed like his fingers had no idea what they were doing.

I read his message and felt my brain die.

He typed so bad it was like watching a car crash.

7

The worst seat on the bus when someone is trying to avoid eye contact and you're trying to avoid eye contact and you both fail.

We stared at the ceiling like it was a competition.

He looked at me, I looked at him, and it was awkward.

It was like we were both trying to be invisible and failed.