facepalmingly

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So stupid it makes you want to slap your own face with both hands because you’re too lazy to scream.

My boss just asked if we needed more coffee. I said yes. He said we need more people.

My dog ate my homework and then my cat ate my dog.

My friend told me he’s a wizard. I said, 'Prove it.' He said, 'I can make your mom cry.'

So dumb it makes you wish you had a hammer and a face to hit.

My sister thinks the sky is green. I asked why. She said, 'Because it’s magic.'

My teacher said 2+2=5 and I believed her for a week.

My friend tried to cook and set the kitchen on fire. Twice.

So idiotic it makes you want to punch yourself for not punching the person who said it.

My neighbor started a band called 'The Squeaky Socks.'

I told my friend I was rich. He said, 'Prove it.' I said, 'I have three dollars.'

My mom said the moon was made of cheese. I asked, 'Why?' She said, 'Because it’s delicious.'

So ridiculous you feel like you should be getting a medal for not crying.

My cousin thinks the internet is a real place. He tried to visit it and got lost.

My friend said he could fly. I said, 'Prove it.' He jumped off a cliff. I didn’t ask for proof anymore.

My teacher said the Earth was flat. I asked why. She said, 'Because it’s a pizza.'

So absurd it makes you question why you even bother being human.

My dog thinks he’s a superhero. He wears a cape and fights my vacuum cleaner.

My friend tried to be a king. I said, 'You’re not a king.' He said, 'I am until you say otherwise.'

My teacher said the sun was a giant tomato. I asked, 'Why?' She said, 'Because it’s red.'