Faceocks

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

1
A person who lives in Facebook and forgets how to breathe.
I just posted my breakfast and my dog’s opinion on it. Still no likes.
I changed my status to ‘bored’ and now my mom is messaging me every 10 minutes.
I spent 2 hours arguing with a stranger over a comment. That’s not normal.
2
A human who thinks Facebook is a real job.
I got a promotion for liking 500 posts in one day. It’s not fair.
I turned off my phone because I was too busy being famous on Facebook.
I posted a picture of my sock and now it has 12 likes. I’m rich.
3
A person who would rather chat with a cat on Facebook than talk to their friend.
My best friend is a cat I follow on Facebook. I’ve never met the real one.
I sent a message to my mom and she replied with a photo of her cat’s breakfast.
I started a group chat with 3 of my friends and 12 of their cats.
4
Someone who lives in their phone and thinks Facebook is their life.
I didn’t eat dinner because I was too busy commenting on my uncle’s post.
I got engaged through Facebook messages. My parents didn’t even know.
I posted a photo of my forehead and now I’m a celebrity.
5
A human who would rather fight on Facebook than in real life.
I got into a 3-hour argument with my neighbor over a comment. He still hasn’t responded.
I blocked my brother for not liking my post. He’s still my brother.
I started a Facebook fight with my ex and now my friends are on both sides.
6
A person who spends more time on Facebook than they do in the real world.
I met my girlfriend on Facebook. We haven’t talked in real life yet.
I posted my dream and now it’s just a status.
I know my dog’s favorite song because I posted it on Facebook.
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