Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A human who logs onto Facebook just to watch others live their best life while they sit in a dirty sock.

I checked my feed and cried. Again.

Why is my ex eating tacos at 2 a. m.?

I saw my old gym teacher and now I hate life.

2

A person who stares at Facebook like it's the last piece of pizza and they're the only one who gets to eat it.

I scrolled for 10 minutes. Now I'm sad.

Why is my ex still pretty?

I saw my old crush and now I'm single again.

3

A human who uses Facebook like it's a therapy session and they're the only one who's paying.

I looked at my feed. Now I'm depressed.

Why is my old friend still rich?

I saw my ex and now I'm crying.

4

A person who logs on to Facebook just to see if anyone else is as sad as they are.

I checked my feed. Now I'm crying.

Why is my old crush still happy?

I saw my old friend and now I'm mad.

5

A human who lives in Facebook and only comes out to post a selfie.

I opened Facebook. Now I'm dying.

Why is my ex still pretty?

I saw my old crush and now I'm sad.

6

A person who stares at Facebook like it's the last chance to be cool.

I checked my feed. Now I'm a loser.

Why is my ex still cool?

I saw my old friend and now I'm sad.