Facebooklosipher

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A person who thinks their facebook status is the most important thing in the world and talks about it like it's a holy relic.

'I posted a status about my feelings and no one liked it. I’m dying.'

'My status is more important than my job. My job is just a side gig.'

'I changed my status to ‘bored’ and now my life is ruined.'

Someone who thinks their thoughts are so deep that they need to write them on facebook like it’s a confessional booth.

'I posted my thoughts about the moon and now I’m famous.'

'I had a deep thought about bread and posted it. Now my friends are mad.'

'I wrote a whole essay on facebook about my feelings. I’m a genius.'

A person who spends more time on facebook than they do breathing and still thinks they’re cool.

'I posted my status 10 times today. I’m a legend.'

'I’m on facebook more than I’m on the toilet. I’m a king.'

'I changed my status to ‘sleeping’ but I’m actually just lying there.'

A person who thinks their facebook status is the only thing that matters and everyone else is just background noise.

'My status is perfect. My life is perfect. Everyone else is just distractions.'

'I posted my status and now my enemies are gone. I’m a warrior.'

'I changed my status to ‘happy’ and now I’m actually happy. I’m a magician.'

Someone who thinks their facebook status is a declaration of war and everyone else is just a bunch of weaklings.

'I posted my status and now I’m at war with my ex.'

'My status is a battle cry. I’m the general.'

'I changed my status to ‘angry’ and now I’m the strongest person in the world.'

A person who would rather die than let someone else post on facebook first.

'I posted my status first. I’m the best.'

'I waited 10 minutes to post my status. I’m a champion.'

'My friend posted before me. I’m now dead inside.'