FaceBook Woodwork

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1
When you finally log on to Facebook after being dead for years and post something that makes your old friends go 'What the hell is this?'
I just posted a photo of my cat wearing a hat. My ex said, 'You’re still alive? What’s the point?'
My cousin tagged me in a group chat. I replied, 'I’m not dead yet, okay?'
I posted a status about my divorce. My mom said, 'You didn’t even tell me!'
2
Posting on Facebook like you just woke up from a 10-year nap and you’re mad you didn’t get a bonus for it
I posted 'I’m back, and I’m here to stay.' My friend said, 'You’re only here for the free Wi-Fi.'
I posted a picture of my new beard. My uncle said, 'You finally grew some hair? I thought you were a ghost.'
I posted about my new job. My old coworkers said, 'You didn’t even say goodbye!'
3
When you post something on Facebook and your old friends are so shocked they probably called the police
I posted a video of my dance moves. My old classmates said, 'You used to be a disaster, and now you’re a full-blown monster.'
I posted about my new house. My old neighbor said, 'You didn’t even say you were moving!'
I posted a status about my new tattoo. My brother said, 'You finally got some ink? I thought you were dead!'
xs