Facebook told me

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5 views · Added 14d ago · 5 definitions

Getting the dirt on someone's life before they even bother to tell you.

My ex got married on Facebook before I knew she was engaged.

I found out my cousin had a kid via Facebook before my mom told me.

My boss posted a vacation pic before I got my schedule changed.

When Facebook spills the beans before your friend does.

My friend's ex showed up on my feed before she told me about the breakup.

My brother's new girlfriend was on Facebook before he even mentioned her.

My neighbor's dog got adopted before I knew he was going to move.

Knowing about someone's life before they even think about telling you.

My crush posted a photo with his girlfriend before I knew he had one.

My sister's new job was on Facebook before I got my first paycheck.

My dad's new house was on Facebook before I knew he was moving.

Facebook leaks secrets before your friend even thinks about it.

My friend's mom had a stroke before I knew she was sick.

My coworker got a promotion before I heard about the interview.

My best friend's new pet was on Facebook before I saw the picture.

When Facebook tells you what your friend is up to before they do.

My friend's new tattoo was on Facebook before I saw it in person.

My brother's new haircut was posted before I got my own.

My neighbor's new car was on Facebook before I knew he was going to buy it.