facebook time

Fresh

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When two people waste their lives typing stupid stuff on each other's walls or chatting like they're best friends, even though they're not.

Hey, I just ate a burger. You? 😎

I'm watching a movie. You? 🍿

You're still here? I thought you'd leave.

The fake time at the bottom of a comment that makes you think you're in charge, even though you're just being lazy.

I posted this at 3:47 PM. You're late. 😤

I was here since 4:01 PM. You're a ghost. 👻

I posted this at 5:03 PM. You're dead to me. 💀

When you stare at someone's profile like a creep, hoping they'll notice you, even though they're probably busy with their own life.

She changed her bio to 'Going to college.' I'm still watching. 📱

He uploaded a photo of his cat. I'm still watching. 😴

She posted a video of her dog. I'm still watching. 🐶

The magical hour between 4 and 6 PM when everyone on Earth is on Facebook, and you're just trying to survive.

I posted this at 4:30 PM. You're alive. 😎

I posted this at 5:15 PM. You're still here. 😴

I posted this at 5:59 PM. You're a monster. 👹

How long it takes someone to reply on Facebook, which is usually longer than it takes to finish a whole meal.

You said 'Hey.' I replied at 2:30 PM. 😴

You said 'What's up?' I replied at 3:45 PM. 🐢

You said 'Hello?' I replied at 5:01 PM. 🤯

When someone who's married or single decides to stalk old classmates like they're a detective, just to maybe ask them out later.

I saw her post a photo of her cat. I messaged her. 🐱

He changed his profile to 'Working at a cafe.' I messaged him. ☕

She uploaded a video of her dog. I messaged her. 🐶