Facebook tennis

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A dirty fight on Facebook where two people scream at each other like they’re in a trash can. They’re too chicken to talk face-to-face.

You: I’d punch you in the face if I could see you.

They: I’d eat your face if I had your dumb face.

You: Your face is so dumb it’s a crime.

When two people take turns roasting each other online like they’re in a cage match. No one wins, but everyone’s mad.

They: You’re so ugly, your dog left you.

You: Your dog’s better than you.

They: Your dog’s a disgrace.

A pointless war on Facebook between two people who act like they’re enemies from a lifetime ago. They won’t even text each other.

You: I’d rather die than talk to you.

They: I’d rather be dead than listen to you.

You: You’re dead to me.

A loud, messy fight on Facebook where people yell at each other like they’re in a loud kitchen at 2 a. m. No one’s happy.

They: You’re the worst.

You: You’re the worstest.

They: You’re the worstestest.

A back-and-forth battle on Facebook where people argue like they’re in a parking lot. No one wants to leave.

You: I’d rather be in a parking lot with you.

They: I’d rather be in a parking lot alone.

You: I’d rather be in a parking lot with a car.

When two people fight on Facebook like they’re in a trash can. No one wins, but everyone’s mad.

They: You’re a piece of trash.

You: You’re a bigger piece of trash.

They: You’re the trashiest piece of trash.