Facebook Slave

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

A human who lives on Facebook like it's their second home and their first one is a dumpster.

'I just posted a selfie at 2 a. m. and I’m still not asleep.'

'I saw my ex's new pet and now I’m crying in the comments.'

'I’m friends with my neighbor’s dog and my cousin’s goldfish.'

A person who stares at Facebook so much it’s like they’re married to it.

'I logged off Facebook and my phone screamed at me.'

'I posted a status about my day and no one responded. I’m now single.'

'I just got a message from my mom’s ex’s niece and I’m confused.'

Someone who uses Facebook more than they use the toilet and probably smells like it.

'I just posted a picture of my breakfast and now I’m getting 100 likes from people I don’t know.'

'I spent 3 hours commenting on my cousin’s vacation photos and now I’m late for work.'

'I got a notification and now I’m ignoring my boss.'

A person who lives on Facebook so much their brain is now made of notifications and likes.

'I just got a like from my neighbor’s dog and now I’m happy.'

'I posted a photo of my cat and now my life is complete.'

'I saw a post about my ex and now I’m sad and angry and confused.'

A person who breathes Facebook and probably doesn’t know how to live without it.

'I just posted a status about my day and now I’m getting likes from people I don’t know.'

'I saw a post about my ex and now I’m mad and crying.'

'I got a message from my mom’s best friend’s brother and now I’m confused.'

A person who lives on Facebook so much their brain is now full of memes and stupid posts.

'I just posted a meme and now I’m getting likes from strangers.'

'I saw a post about my ex and now I’m mad and sad.'

'I got a message from my cousin’s goldfish and now I’m confused.'