Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You're on Facebook and all your cool friends are offline, so you have to settle for chatting with someone who’s not even close to cool.

Hey Karen, why are you online again?

Why are you messaging me instead of your ex?

You're talking to me? I thought I was dead.

2

You’re on Facebook and no one cool is there, so you have to talk to someone who’s basically a nobody.

Hey Brad, why are you here?

You’re messaging me? I’m not your therapist.

I’m talking to you? I’d rather be in a coma.

3

You’re on Facebook and all your cool friends are offline, so you settle for someone who's so uncool they make you want to die.

Hey Mom, why are you here?

You’re talking to me? I thought I was adopted.

You're messaging me? I’m not your babysitter.

4

You're on Facebook and no one cool is online, so you're stuck with someone who's not even worth your time.

Hey Steve, why are you online?

You're messaging me? I'm not your coworker.

I'm talking to you? I'd rather be in a fight.

5

You're on Facebook and all your cool friends are offline, so you're forced to settle for someone who's not cool and probably hates you.

Hey Greg, why are you messaging me?

You're talking to me? I thought I was dead.

You're here? I'm not your enemy.

6

You're on Facebook and no one cool is online, so you're stuck with someone who's not cool and makes you want to scream.

Hey Linda, why are you here?

You're messaging me? I'm not your best friend.

You're talking to me? I'd rather be in jail.