facebook-preening

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1 views · Added 4d ago · 5 definitions

messing with your Facebook like it's a trash fire you're trying to put out with a chicken and a mop

I spent 2 hours deleting my ex's stupid comments.

My dog's face is on my profile picture and I can't unsee it.

I changed my status to 'cool' because my life is a joke.

you're picking at your Facebook like it's a scab and you're a toddler with a glue gun

I deleted my high school yearbook photo because it's still relevant.

I took down my status about my mom's cat because it's not funny anymore.

I changed my profile picture 17 times in one day.

you're cleaning up your Facebook like it's a crime scene and you're the detective with no coffee

I took down my status about my ex because it's still true.

I deleted my 2012 self because it's a ghost.

I changed my bio to 'mysterious' because I'm tired of being obvious.

you're fixing your Facebook like it's a broken toaster and you're the guy who microwaves it

I deleted my 2008 self because it's a ghost.

I changed my bio to 'cool' because my life is a joke.

I took down my status about my mom's cat because it's not funny anymore.

you're making your Facebook look good like it's a prison and you're the warden with a bad hair day

I changed my profile picture to my dog because it's less embarrassing.

I deleted my ex's comments because they're still relevant.

I changed my status to 'cool' because I'm tired of being obvious.