Facebook Penis

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A guy who posts stupid stuff on Facebook just to show off. He laughs at your life while he's living his own mess.

Hey look at me, I'm rich! (He posted a photo of a $5 taco.)

Why are you still single? You're not even cool enough to be my friend.

I'm getting a PhD in being annoying. It's going to be legendary.

The worst kind of fake friend. He posts fake status updates to make you feel like you're not good enough.

I'm so famous, I got a cat to follow me on Instagram.

You're still using Facebook? I'm already on TikTok and I'm rich.

I got 10 likes on my post. You got zero. You're dead to me.

A man who thinks his Facebook posts are the highlight of your life. He makes you feel like you're the worst version of yourself.

I got a new car. It's blue. You got nothing.

I'm getting a divorce because my wife didn't like my new haircut.

I'm getting a PhD in being a total jackass. You're not even in the class.

The guy who thinks he's the king of the world because he has 500 friends. He posts stuff just to make you feel like you're the loser.

I have 500 friends. You have 2. You're a loser.

I'm getting a PhD in being popular. You're just a background character.

I got 100 likes on my post. You got 1. You're not even a friend.

A man who thinks his Facebook status is the most important thing in the world. He uses it to make you feel like you're invisible.

I'm eating pizza. You're eating sadness.

I got 10 likes. You got none. You're not even worth my time.

I'm going to be rich. You're going to be poor. It's inevitable.

The guy who thinks he's the best at everything. He uses Facebook to make you feel like you're the worst at everything.

I'm the best at everything. You're the worst at everything.

I got a PhD in being cool. You're still in high school.

I'm rich. You're broke. You're not even a friend.