Facebook Member

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2 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

A Facebook member is a self-absorbed idiot who thinks their whole life is worth showing off to everyone who has ever blinked at a screen.

Posted 17 pictures of their breakfast at 7:03 a. m. and tagged 12 people who were still asleep.

Sent a DM to their ex saying, 'You’re still on my feed? I thought you died.'

Changed their status to 'Feeling accomplished' after watering a plant.

A Facebook member is someone who can’t live without everyone knowing what they had for lunch and how sad they are about it.

Posted a 30-second video of themselves crying over a broken pencil and called it 'The Struggle of a Genius.'

Tagged their entire family in a post about their dog’s bad hair day.

Sent a group message to 100 people saying, 'I just ate a sandwich and it was life-changing.'

A Facebook member is a person who thinks their life is a never-ending movie and everyone has to watch it.

Posted 47 selfies in one day and called it 'My 47 Faces of Glory.'

Sent a message to their childhood friend saying, 'Why aren’t you on my feed? I thought you were my best friend forever.'

Changed their status to 'In a relationship' after talking to a barista for 2 minutes.

A Facebook member is someone who can’t live without everyone knowing what they had for lunch and how sad they are about it.

Posted a 30-second video of themselves crying over a broken pencil and called it 'The Struggle of a Genius.'

Tagged their entire family in a post about their dog’s bad hair day.

Sent a group message to 100 people saying, 'I just ate a sandwich and it was life-changing.'

A Facebook member is a person who thinks their life is a never-ending movie and everyone has to watch it.

Posted 47 selfies in one day and called it 'My 47 Faces of Glory.'

Sent a message to their childhood friend saying, 'Why aren’t you on my feed? I thought you were my best friend forever.'

Changed their status to 'In a relationship' after talking to a barista for 2 minutes.

A Facebook member is someone who thinks they're famous just because their mom likes their post.

Posted a photo of their pet goldfish and called it 'My best friend.'

Sent a message to their cousin saying, 'You didn’t like my post? You’re not my best friend anymore.'

Changed their status to 'Feeling proud' after their mom commented 'I love you.'