Facebook Living

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 5 definitions

1
Making up fake stories on Facebook to look cool when you're really just a sad loser.
I'm at the Met Gala. I'm not wearing a dress. I'm wearing a napkin.
I'm partying with celebrities. They're just my cousins. They’re also really bad at math.
I’m in a foreign country. I’m not speaking the language. I’m just yelling at a sandwich.
2
Thinking your life is awesome when it's just average and you’re too proud to admit it.
My life is perfect. I just got fired. I'm also eating cereal for dinner.
I’m living my best life. My best life is my dog watching me fail at a video game.
I’m chilling at the top of the world. The top of the world is my couch.
3
Showing off your boring life on Facebook like it’s a big deal.
Live: I’m eating my third bowl of ice cream. It’s important.
Live: I’m watching a show. The show is called 'The Show.'
Live: I’m doing absolutely nothing. That’s a lifestyle.
4
Livestreaming while doing something so bad it should be a crime.
Live: I’m robbing a bank. I forgot my mask. I look like a clown.
Live: I’m killing people. They’re my exes. They also forgot their masks.
Live: I’m stealing pizza. The pizza is from my mom. She’s mad.
5
Updating your status every five minutes like you're doing something important.
Status: I’m at the concert. It’s loud. I can’t hear my own thoughts.
Status: I’m at the concert. The concert is over. I’m still at the concert.
Status: I’m at the concert. I’m also eating a hot dog. The hot dog is louder than the concert.
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