facebook friend jerry

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the man who screams about coffee like it’s the last drop on Earth

Jerry: I need a mug. It’s not a request. It’s a demand. A divine demand.

Jerry DMs me at 2 AM: 'I need a mug. I will die without it.'

Jerry posts a photo of his mug and says, 'This is my soul.'

the guy who acts like getting a mug is a life-changing event

Jerry: 'I got a mug. My life is complete.'

Jerry tweets: 'My mug is better than my ex. Also, I got a mug.'

Jerry texts me: 'I got a mug. I’m now rich.'

the person who would fight you for a mug if you got one first

Jerry: 'You got a mug? I will murder you.'

Jerry comments on my mug post: 'That’s my mug. I’ll haunt you.'

Jerry sees me with a mug and starts a 10-minute rant about mug hierarchy.