Facebook Envy

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

1
When you see an old friend on Facebook and realize their life is way better than yours and you want to punch their face because they’re living the dream while you’re stuck in the craptastrophe.
I just saw my ex on Facebook. He’s rich, happy, and has a dog. I’m broke, sad, and have a mom who still calls me every day.
My old crush posted a vacation photo. I’m still working at the gas station. I’m gonna cry.
I saw my old classmate’s post. She has a kid, a car, and a house. I have a cat, a bike, and a problem with my pants.
2
When someone has more friends on Facebook and you’re like, ‘Why is their life so good and mine is so bad?’ and you start questioning your entire existence.
My cousin has 1,000 friends. I have 2. My dog and my mom.
My crush has 500 friends. I have 5. My dog, my mom, my brother, and my cat.
My old friend has 10,000 friends. I have 10. My dog, my mom, my brother, my cat, my sister, my dad, my uncle, my aunt, and my grandma.
3
A random person who you don’t even know who tries to ruin your life because they’re jealous of you and your friends. Usually happens when you block them or your friend made them look like a fool.
Some guy I don’t know started tagging me in every post. He’s like, ‘You’re so ugly and your life is so bad.’ I’m like, ‘Bro, I’m not even your friend.’
A random girl started commenting on my photos. She said, ‘Your life is a disaster and your friends are all jerks.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t even know you.’
Some guy I don’t know started making fake profiles to mess with me. He said, ‘You’re the worst.’ I said, ‘You’re the worst, bro.’
4
When you see your friends having the time of their lives and you’re stuck in the middle of a boring day and you want to scream because life is unfair.
My friends are on vacation. I’m stuck at work. I’m like, ‘Why is life so unfair?’
My friends are partying. I’m eating pizza and watching TV. I’m like, ‘Why is my life so bad?’
My friends are getting married. I’m still single. I’m like, ‘Why is life so unfair?’
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